mandag den 23. november 2009

Still in the dark corner

I don't know why that I'm still today is in the dark corner.
I don't feel like being near anyone, because everything people say or do annoys me so badly. I keep wondering to myself how people can be so stupid and igonrant. But of course they wóuldn't know any of it!
Take for an example today. We'll have fish today for dinner, my parents know that I'm dieting, and yet my father buys the fish with the most calories in. Way to go day, you just distroyed my day even more by not thinking a bit more, when you know that exactly that fish is one of the fishes that contains most fat.
I somewho wonder if he did it on purpose because he want me to gain weight again, but what does instead is he makes me not wanna eat and he doesn't realize it.
So in a way you can say they are actually also responseble for making me getting worse.
I wish they would just stop caring and mind their own buisness.
I'm gonna tell them at dinner that I don't want to have this day where we'll eat fish together, or that I HAVE to be the one doing the buying of it so we won't get the wrong fish.

It all just makes me want to move away even more! Be on my own without anyone to get in my way.
I wish I could just tell them all to fuck off and leave it up to me how I wanna live my life.
Because everytime I keep it in, and it feels like the monster in me is getting bigger and more ugly for everytime it happens. I fear that one day it will get out of control and I'll end up doing something stupid that in the end will take my freedom away.

I need to tell the truth to people.

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