Why is it that every time I see a beautiful picture of a girl who's skinny, I keep on wanting to loose more?
Why can't I just be happy with my body?
I will tell you why.
I'm too draged into this world of almost eating disorder that I can't just get out of it. The fear of gaining weight is scary.
I'm a perfectionist. Not only with my body, but also with my work. It's ruinin´me.
This is the only why for me to be in control, if I'm not in control that will kill me faster.
I can't be happy because of that. I can't be happy because I refuse to accept me as I am.
I live in a different world.
My mind is simply to weak to accept the way things are.
I wanna continue to be it
But somehow wish I could just have that confident in myself.
She won't allow me and I can only follow.
She has the control of me.... because I let her....
It is always a choice....
...... and I made mine
To give in is what kills you. Don't give in and you shall live forever.
(word spoken from the true master <3)