lørdag den 13. februar 2010

No name......

Feeling down...
Everything is just so fucking messed up.

Wish I could just leave this world. I'm tired, oh so tired.
Nothing is the way it should be.

When will it be enough for me? When I'm at 43 kg. or when I reach some weight like 39 kg.?

I'm so afraid.

Old pictures of me, hunting me everyday, both at night and at a wakening state in daytime.

It's going so slow
I want it to go faster.

Or do I really just wanna take it so far that they will put me at a hospital?
Will they do it too late then?

At times I just feel like giving up, but in the end I'm not willing to do it, no matter how hard I try.

Hard to stop when all you see in the mirror is something you don't like.
It's hard to stop when everyone around you are on diets to loose weight, because then you also wanna push yourself to loose more.

It's a sickness you don't just get rid of.

You can try, but it will always be there. Just around the corner, waiting for a moment of weakness.

I'm simply just not strong enough.........

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