torsdag den 26. august 2010

bla bla...

So tomorrow will be my last day at school. Or well, not quit., I'm gonna go to school Monday also to get some papers signed and say goodbye.
I'm really gonna miss many of them, so I'll go visit them from time to time to check on how they're doing.
It's actually not my "last" day, but due to my situation with my mental state my psychologist thinks it's a good idea for me to take some time off.
So early Monday morning I'll call my doctor to signed some papers for me that my school/work can have so I can withdraw from work for a short periode. Because I get my doctors approval they can put me on a list so I can return after some time if I get better.

Hopefully some things will get better soon.

I bought a present for my parents today. It's not much but just a little thanks from me for being there and really wanting to help me.
But they won't get it now, not yet, because I wanna write a letter too, so I have to think a bit about what to write.

Also I'm looking so much forward to Tuesday! I'm gonna go to Århus where I'll meet up with one of my very good girl friends and shop <3
I haven't seen her since March so it's gonna be sooo exciting to see my beautiful girl again <3

well I think I'll go get ready for bed now, so take care all you crazy people out there!

søndag den 22. august 2010

Do they know?

.... that I'm going down in weight again?
I have a little idea that my father have noticed. He's beginning to look at me in a weird way again.

But he can't stop me.

tirsdag den 17. august 2010


I just don't feel like I can take it anymore.
My mind is getting worse and since I've gained a bit weight I can't even look at my self in the mirror.
It makes me cry every time because I don't see my bones as much as I used to and I want to again.
I haven't been on the scale for 2 weeks and today I felt so bad that I couldn't take it anymore so I had to see if something had happen.
Yeah sure I have lost 3 kilograms again but I still need to through some more to get to the weight that I wanna stay at.
It's just hard when your family doesn't understand how mental ill I have become because I'm not aloud to be at my wishing weight.
But they can't stop me, not anymore. I make my own rules and make my own life and if I wanna be at that low weight I'm gonna do it.
I have just made up my mind to do it in a more healthy weight through food instead of not eating.
I'm just like everybody els, I want it to go away fast.
My health is better since I have started to eat more. I'm now able to go out and do some more extreme sport which I'm glad for.

I wanna get my weight back to 45 kg.! and no one can stop me!
Not my doctor, my medicine or my family and friends, so stop interferring!