tirsdag den 17. august 2010

Tired

I just don't feel like I can take it anymore.
My mind is getting worse and since I've gained a bit weight I can't even look at my self in the mirror.
It makes me cry every time because I don't see my bones as much as I used to and I want to again.
I haven't been on the scale for 2 weeks and today I felt so bad that I couldn't take it anymore so I had to see if something had happen.
Yeah sure I have lost 3 kilograms again but I still need to through some more to get to the weight that I wanna stay at.
It's just hard when your family doesn't understand how mental ill I have become because I'm not aloud to be at my wishing weight.
But they can't stop me, not anymore. I make my own rules and make my own life and if I wanna be at that low weight I'm gonna do it.
I have just made up my mind to do it in a more healthy weight through food instead of not eating.
I'm just like everybody els, I want it to go away fast.
My health is better since I have started to eat more. I'm now able to go out and do some more extreme sport which I'm glad for.

I wanna get my weight back to 45 kg.! and no one can stop me!
Not my doctor, my medicine or my family and friends, so stop interferring!

Herja

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