lørdag den 27. august 2011

Give me your body bitch!


Give me your body bitch! xD

tirsdag den 16. august 2011

I'm a monster

I'm of no use.
For anyone and myself.
I want bad things to happen. I seem only to have bad thoughts towards others but most of all to myself.
It creates a fear.
Lack of confidence in myself and everything I do.
Nothing is good enough. I feel no lust, no satisfaction of any kind.
I'm alone.
Bound to a wheelchair, just sitting there, starring into to the empty darkness.
Emotionless yet not, because tears drop down on my chin without my control.
I want to have and be in control, but I'm not and if I am I'm in too much control.
It is the only way I know.
That is how I was created
I know all these thoughts are wrong to others, but for me they are reality.
I can't be free of them. They make me who I am.
I might as well just die.
In the end it would be for the better, then I can truely be free and so can others.

I am a monster.... No one can change that...
To kill a monster, you have to become one... I can only do it myself... and I won't..


fredag den 12. august 2011

I'm crazy!




Yeah I know I'm childish, but I work with a boss who's also very childish so it doesn't help either xD
Because of the Smuk festival he ordered a lot of small candy mashines home for sale and he gave me one!! Eventhough I don't eat candy I couldn't resist such an offer, it's simply too adoreble and fun to play with! and it plays music! lol.
And then I saw he had a Winnie the Pooh computer mouse in the store and ask if I could buy it. It was unfortunately for another costumer but he ordered a new one home for me! He's bad influence on me hahah.
We ended up talking about me having a swing hung up in my apartment since my loft is opened all the way up so you can hang stuff from the wooden beams! What an excellent idea! So now I'm looking for a swing! My apartment is starting to be like an amusement park.

mandag den 8. august 2011

En masse crap!

Nøj, hvor jeg dog hader at læse blogs om folk der skal være på nakken af andre mennesker når de selv ikke er en skid bedre.
Denne person er dobbelt moralsk og har seriøst alt for meget selvtillid.
Så snart man er en smule overvægtig eller tyk får de en led sviner i hendes blogs, og siger hvordan kan de da holde ud at se på sig selv i spejlet og tænke at de ser godt ud, når hun ikke vil se på det. Samtidig har personen sagt i en anden blog at hun intet har imod former, så længe personen selv er glad for hvem de er O_o
Så disser hun deres make-up og mener de bør få sig et kursus i hvordan det skal lægges pænt. Øhh hvad med dig selv frøken med de smalle og tykke øjenbryn som overhovedet ikke passer til resten af din make-up som heller ikke er noget at råbe hurra over.
Du er kedelig og ikke unik på samme måde.
Prøv at skue lidt ned for selvtilliden og ha' en smule ydmyghed forhelvede. Ikke alle kan have en slank krop som din, for den er sku heller ikke perfekt.
Vi er alle forskellige og synes forskellige ting gør hinanden smukke.
Jeg ved selv jeg er en pain in the ass, men jeg undre mig bare over hvordan der overhovedet er nogle der kan holde hende ud.
Jeg håber aldrig jeg bliver så selvfed.
*suk*
Det havde jeg lige brug for at komme af med...! xD

fredag den 5. august 2011

Random blog

Just had a little time where I was bored so I thought I would decorate my nails a bit ^w^
It's been a while since I have done that.


I went to a toy shop the other day! I love toys! anyway! I found these funny dolls. I'm thinking about buying one some day soon maybe.

But I got these ones first! <3 They are from a new collection called Monster High xD
Thought they were cute and perfect for my collection overall =^w^=
I've been feeling kinda ill for most of this week. I don't really know why :/ And I don't seem to feel any better. I guess it's also because I sleep so poorly.
No wonder when they start working and turning on the big mashines at 05.30 in the morning to build. And this last night they worked during the night???!! Very annoying, but I can't do anything about it. The sooner they get done the better. Maybe I can sleep better afterwards.
Hmm I'm also starting to feel the anxiety nerves kick in. Next week is a music festival at my old town and I work there, my boss is probably keeping the store open all week instead of just one. And that freaks me out since I can't function properly around so many and loud people at once.
But I'm sure he won't force me to stay in the front of the store serving costumers.
And still nervous if I can stay there in general. I just have to wait and see what my caseworker have to say about my case when she get's home from vacation.

mandag den 1. august 2011

Calling for me..

I hear them... the blades... they are calling for me.
They have been all day. I don't know how much more I can resist it.
Nothing is secure.
The only thing I know is that someone has taken away my precious.
Seeking it and longing for it to return to me.


Is it mean...?


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Sikke en skod dag det dog kan være.
Har næsten ikke lavet andet end at tude hele dagen. Det gjorde det ikke bedre at min konsulent ringede til mig for at hører hvordan det gik på mit praktik sted. Hun sagde nemlig at hun var ikke sikker på at hun kunne forlænge min praktik periode det sted hvor jeg var. Så hun skulle lige snakke med min sagsbehandler.
Tak! I kan sku da ikke bare trække mig væk fra et sted jeg kan nogenlunde kan holde ud at være og jeg for en gangs skyld gør en smule fremskridt, bare fordi han ikke har fastansat mig endnu.
Men hvad fanden forventer de??? Han kan sku da ikke bare ansætte en ustabil person sådan uden videre >:(
Han er jo selvstadig og hans økonomi skal jo også passe til det.
Ihhhh jeg ved snart ikke man har virkelig lyst til at give op fordi alt virker så forbandet håbløst...

Så kan man sidde og være sur mens man ser "End of days"!