tirsdag den 16. august 2011

I'm a monster

I'm of no use.
For anyone and myself.
I want bad things to happen. I seem only to have bad thoughts towards others but most of all to myself.
It creates a fear.
Lack of confidence in myself and everything I do.
Nothing is good enough. I feel no lust, no satisfaction of any kind.
I'm alone.
Bound to a wheelchair, just sitting there, starring into to the empty darkness.
Emotionless yet not, because tears drop down on my chin without my control.
I want to have and be in control, but I'm not and if I am I'm in too much control.
It is the only way I know.
That is how I was created
I know all these thoughts are wrong to others, but for me they are reality.
I can't be free of them. They make me who I am.
I might as well just die.
In the end it would be for the better, then I can truely be free and so can others.

I am a monster.... No one can change that...
To kill a monster, you have to become one... I can only do it myself... and I won't..

1 kommentar:

  1. You're the only one who thinks this, and I know you know that. I just hope you have the will to fight against whatever makes you think like this, because you are worth it.