fredag den 27. april 2012

Never good enough...

She's just keep starring back at me in the mirror, telling me how ugly and fat I am.
Showing me all the places on my body I hate. All the fat.
I wanna cry but there's no tears coming from my eyes.
I keep looking at that one specific picture, the only picture I ever took of myself when I was almost at my lowest. I sure miss that.... I wanna go back to that.. I liked my body the most there. Alle the bones showing. They still do, but it's not enough for me...
I keep reminding myself everyday where I wanna go everytime I look at my phone. I have set the picture as my background.
It has been there for such a long time but somehow it seem like it doesn't help. My weight is not dropping unfortunately. I'm staying at the same weight and it kills me. I know it's "only" 8 kg. I've gained since that picture which were taken over 2 years ago. I don't wanna lose them all, just the half.
It sucks....
So much I made myself sick. I just couldn't take the thought of having anything in my stomach. I hope it doesn't get worse because I don't wanna end up purging up the small amount of food up everyday.

I have nothing left... I just feel cold...


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