Yeah, so the frontsinger in y Brothers band asked me if I wanted to be her model for make-up and hair styling, this Friday.
I didn't really know what to say at first. I have a lot anxiety especially when people get too close, but I somehow managed to think past that and I said yes!
I also got calmed a bit Down by Tanja who is the one doing it on me. She also suffers from anxiety attacks if getting too close, so it's also a challange for her.
So yeah, I'm gonna model for a day for face photoshoot.
Hope it'll turn out great for her. And that we both will surviv the day without too much anxiety ^-^'
This day has been a completely Chaos for me.
First a meeting with my education supervisor and she couldn't really help me much with anything since I'm not capable of taking one because of my mental state.
Later I had a meeting with my doctor and we talked a bit about I was not really making any Progress, I may look better on the outside but the inside is still a battle for me and he wanted me to once Again think about if I wanna change for myself or for the pressure of others. And I can't fully change if I don't do it for myself, and I really doubt that I wanna change, because of what I'm afraid to lose. He then said that I needed to try to keep finding the balance so I somehow can make a day workout for me without too many disturbence. We also changed a bit in my medication to see if it would have any effect on me, and soon we'll have a bloodsample taken to see how it Works.
Suddenly I also found myself an internship at a car Company called CT-Styling. They would like to use we for webdesign and to put up new products on their web. As much as I want to I still fear that it's not good enough and that I can't handle the pressure without Falling back into bad habbits. And that I can't perhaps get a job there, because I'm too fragile and can't have more than 4-5 hours of Work in one day without my body getting all weird and scared.
I just hope I can get some rest tonight with all these Things on my mind!
LOL just found these old Photos of me!!! xD
Me and my lovely father <3 p="">
My cousin and me. I just loved that sailor dress! Still wish I had it and could fit it! :D