tirsdag den 21. maj 2013

So much going on inside my head!

This day has been a completely Chaos for me.
First a meeting with my education supervisor and she couldn't really help me much with anything since I'm not capable of taking one because of my mental state.
Later I had a meeting with my doctor and we talked a  bit about I was not really making any Progress,  I may look better on the outside but the inside is still a battle for me and he wanted me to once Again think about if I wanna change for myself or for the pressure of others. And I can't fully change if I don't do it for myself, and I really doubt that I wanna change, because of what I'm afraid to lose. He then said that I needed to try to keep finding the balance so I somehow can make a day workout for me without too many disturbence. We also changed a bit in my medication to see if it would have any effect on me, and soon we'll have a bloodsample taken to see how it Works.
Suddenly I also found myself an internship at a car Company called CT-Styling. They would like to use we for webdesign and to put up new products on their web. As much as I want to I still fear that it's not good enough and that I can't handle the pressure without Falling back into bad habbits. And that I can't perhaps get a job there, because I'm too fragile and can't have more than 4-5 hours of Work in one day without my body getting all weird and scared.
I just hope I can get some rest tonight with all these Things on my mind!

LOL just found these old Photos of me!!! xD

Me and my lovely father <3 p="">

My cousin and me. I just loved that sailor dress! Still wish I had it and could fit it! :D

I was such a Diva Lol xD